Nanny Says

  I was in a particularly foul mood as I went round the hospital the other day. Stern reminders and self righteous exhortations stared up at me from every available flat surface.

  In the toilet I was reminded to wash my hands, invited to dispose of my sharps safely and intimately asked if I had had a smear lately.

  Over the wash basin in the ward I was not just asked to wash my hands- I was shown in a step by step diagram and cheerily threatened with the "glitter squad"(I asked- they use some sort of dye in the soap that shows up on your skin in U.V. light and shames you by showing where you haven't washed).

  Signs everywhere informed me that the staff were entitled to be treated with courtesy,that I must not use a mobile phone because of sensitive equipment (see last post) and that I should not be visiting if I was showing the early stages of everything from SARS to Ebola.

  It was nearly the last straw when, in the tearoom I noticed that the filter pot was standing on a mat giving the accurate standard drinks count in various bottles and glasses."You're a COFFEE MACHINE" I shouted at it "What do you care?"

 But it WAS absolutely the last straw when I walked through the long corridor connecting the clinics to one of the ward blocks .The offices of one of the surgical research units take up one side of the corridor and posted at intervals along the wall (for some reason at knee height)were photocopied A4 pages which read "These walls are paper thin and we can hear every word. We are working very hard so please don't make so much noise."

  Now every time I go down that corridor I aim a kick at each and every notice They are very conveniently placed for this, it gives me good excercise (or did I not mention the signs in every stairwell that exhort me to do this ?) and it makes me feel more cheerful.